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“I was so caught up in the fact I hadn’t “birthed” my baby, I felt like I’d failed”

This mum contacted me asking for a piece of art that would help her reframe her thoughts that her body had failed and instead celebrate what her body had coped with. 

If you know me, you will know that I am an advocate for how incredible our bodies are and I was totally up for helping this mum see how incredible her body was. Her body grew a human inside it and housed it for 9 months. Without her body, there would be no baby or birth. 

This mum went on to breastfeed her baby for 2 years and 9 months. Her body was recovering from major surgery whilst producing the food needed to keep another human alive. Actually, not only alive but thriving. I wanted to capture all of this in this picture. 

The blue represents the medicine that was needed to birth her baby. In this picture, there was a blue glove, blue on the cannula (which is also seen in the picture) and blue on her hospital gown. The blue surrounds her baby and her breast to signify what medicine couldn't do. That baby she holds, she made him. That milk he is drinking, she made that. No medicine in the world could do those things. No medical intervention can take away the fact that her body has done the most incredible thing to grow, house and feed a baby, a human life. 

It is also pretty cool that the baby’s first hat was blue too. So the colour holds some lovely feelings for the mum around the first days with her baby. 

These are words from mum…….

“I’ve spent my life unhappy with my body and slipped into a deep depression when trying to conceive (it took over 2 years). I was so angry that my body wasn’t doing what it was supposed to do, what it was made to do and I felt like a failure. 

I was waiting for IVF, but I had to lose weight to have that. Dr’s made me feel hopeless and then I met a lady who introduced me to daily gratitude. Then I met a consultant who made me feel hopeful about my chances of IVF. Then I lost weight (not enough for IVF), started to feel happier and healthier and then I fell pregnant - without a doctor's intervention! I took charge. I supplemented and got my husband to do the same. I improved both our markers through diet, exercise, supplements and mental strength. 

Whilst pregnant, I was the most proud I’ve ever been of my body. It was so empowering to carry my boy.

I think that’s partly why I found accepting a c-section so hard. Apart from this bulls**t societal idea that a c-section is the “easy way out” and people who have them are “too posh to push”, it just felt like another way my body had failed me. Again. I had failed again. And I’d let down the most precious being of all, my baby. 

But I did feed him. I could feed him. It was a hard slog at times and we overcame many obstacles, including tongue tie, feeding strikes, allergies, oversupply, illness, blocked ducts, blips, and inverted nipples. To name a few. But feeding him is something I’ve done for him, for his health and future for 2 years and 9 months. 

And this picture was the first time. It really means the world. 

I love what you’ve done and that there is a nod to the way in which he arrived in the world, out of the sunroof.  Because him arriving safely was more important than anything else in that moment. I would have done whatever they told me, however hard it was to accept and at whatever cost to myself. Looking back? I am incredibly proud of what my body achieved, what my mind achieved and what I overcame to get there.”

Powerful huh!?! If this resonates with you please do message me and tell me. I would love to hear from you. 

I take on two commissions a month like this. Only two because I want to be sure I take the time with each mum to go through this process. At the time of writing this vlog, my price is £50 for a commissioned piece of art like this and the powerful feeling you get for realising that your body is actually pretty incredible. 

£50 if you are happy for me to use copies of your picture for prints and my social media. Or £100 if you would like your picture to stay private.

Phone - 07769357334

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